Safety for Real Life Meetings
"Your own safety is at stake...."
Know who it is you are meeting!!
Going from online to RT is a giant step. Emotions run high for both partners. "Trust'" has built online, and on the phone. Each of you is more than ready to come together in RT. BUT-- it is so easy to BE who you are not online. It is easy to convince ourselves that we KNOW our partner. Get references!! Do background checks! A real Dominant will NOT be offended!! Think with your head first!
Know your own emotional and physical limitations!!
It is one thing to trust your Dominant to know you from the inside out. It is quite another to expect him to know that you have arthritis in your left knee and cannot stay on your knees for long periods of time.
Communicate, Communicate, Communicate!!!
No one can read minds. It is up to you to make sure your Dominant knows all there is to know about you. Anything (emotional OR physical ) that could be a problem during a session. Communicate your needs and desires. Discuss limits and safewords BEFORE any play takes place!
Safe sex is of the utmost importance!!!
In this day and age, with AIDS and other diseases so prevalent, there is great reason to be safe in your sexual encounters. Simply donning a condom is NOT enough anymore. Condoms break, and/or come off at the most inopportune times. Nonoxynol-9 has been proven to kill the HIV virus. it is not 100%, but it is better than nothing at all. Many lubricants now contain Nonoxynol-9.
It is NOT a requirement to session on a first meeting!!!
A first meeting should be a get acquainted meeting. You have a lifetime to session and there is no need to rush it. If your Dom suggests that he is driving a long way and therefore will expect a session, a red flag should go up! A Dominant has patience above all.
Your Safety Net!!
When setting up the first couple of meetings with your Dominant, it is important to have someone you trust know where you are. This should be someone who lives near enough to the meeting place to call the police if needed. Leave all personal information with this person. Information such as the name, address, phone number, car make and model as well as the license number of the car he is driving will help the police locate him and/or you in case things go awry. Don't forget to leave your OWN full name, address, phone number and the license number of your car as well.
Arrange with the one who holds the personal information to make at least 2 calls during the first few meetings. This will let him/her know that you are well and things are going swimmingly. If need be, arrange a "safeword" with your safe person. A word only the two of you know, that lets her know there is a problem.
If it isn't fun, stimulating, learning, laughing....then it isn't right. D/s is about control. It is about giving up control. Yet, if you don't find joy or stimulation in it....what is the point?
These rules are ones I have used and given to others. They are NOT the be all and end all of safety. Each submissive and Dominant is responsible for their own safety. Meeting someone from online is not a game. It can be deadly serious.
PLEASE be careful!
© 1998 indigo
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