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"Your own safety is at stake when your neighbor's
wall is ablaze."
-- Horace


In this lifestyle, it is my thought that we not only have a need to look out for our own safety, but also help in guarding the safety of others.

By this, I do not mean that we that we are necessarily responsible for the safety of others than the ones we are with, but more that we have a responsibility to our BDSM community to present education on the matter of safety.

We cannot force anyone to learn safety or to be safe. It is a personal choice each time we meet, play, or simply gather in life, or in BDSM. However, with the coming of online, it makes being a predator so much easier. It takes little to talk the talk of any lifestyle. It takes a great deal more to walk it and live it.

It is easy to allow our bodies and our hearts to over rule common sense when the need to submit or to Dominate is so strongly pressing us forward. I beg of you to read Cold's Story, and in so doing realize the need for safety in meeting a Dominant or submissive (or anyone for that matter).

Submissives have asked over and over in the past--"But won't my Dominant be offended if I ask for references?" ,"Isn't it a sign that I don't trust my Dominant if I ask to see a negative HIV test?" Their comments have run the gammut--"I trust my Dominant totally, I do not need a safeperson.", "My Dominant says if I need safecalls, then I do not trust him/her."

I beg to differ!!! In my opinion, a Dominant's first responsibility is the safety and wellbeing of his submissive. This includes physical, emotional and mental wellbeing. His concern for the her wellbeing should lead him to enforce a strict safety policy. He should be free with the information she seeks. And might I add....if the trust has built to the point of a private meeting, the Dominant should be willing to give her his personal information as well.

Safety is a two way street. People are not safe simply because they are male. I encourage both Dom/Dommes and submissives to require information and bloodwork of their partners, as well as protection for at least the first 6 months.

Please Click here to read more on safety...

Please click here for one woman's story...

1997 karen

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