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"Marriage is a recognition of a spiritual identity."
-- Joseph Campbell


When first approached about writing on my thoughts of being a vanilla husband with a submissive wife, I smiled. I am a very independent, non-conforming kind of guy. I believe that we have been placed on this earth to have fun, enjoy what as been given to us, and to be able to do it on your own terms.

My first comment about D/s to my wife was, "These people are nuts. Who in their right mind would allow themselves to be put in that kind of position, risk being hurt?"

I rejected the idea for months, walked out of the house screaming, cried in bed wondering where I had gone wrong. I even moved out so that I could see if I could get a better grasp on what was happening to my life. I found in all of those incidents, that I loved my wife. Through the years I had made sacrifices and commitments to a person that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

D/s entered my life in a very rocky time. My marriage was on
the rocks, my job was financially killing me, and I was frustrated with life in general. Like most men, I kept it all inside so no one would know.

I found D/s and the computer a threat to my family, my lifestyle,
my marriage, and my love for the person that I loved the most. Even after my wife called me at 4:00 in the morning and asked me to come to the house and talk, even after we had kissed and made
up, talked about our feelings, and got it all out in the open, I still wasn't comfortable.

I was, however, willing to learn, to find out what intrigued so many people. My wife would print out items from the web. She would get me involved in some of the discussions online. I learned that these people weren't nuts.

I also learned that D/s is a very intimate and spiritual way of life, where people are able to express their feelings and emotions openly, and have an open exchange of power and control, souls were being searched, lives were opening up, people learned
about themselves.

Click here to read more.

1997 Higgs

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